Yes, there are plenty of things in the world around us to depress us:  inflation, the government, the war, the environment, etc. etc. etc. But what happens when we turn to ourselves? Here is a depressing thought from the nineteenth century writer Henry David Thoreau: “The youth gets together his materials to build a bridge to the moon, or perchance, a palace or temple on the earth, and, at length, the middle-aged man concludes to build a woodshed with them.”  That is quite a comedown, but how often does it describe the trajectory of our lives?  An insurance company has landed on a very creative advertising hook, “We can’t stop you from becoming your parents.” What we reject when we are young, we often become as we age.

Does our faith offer us any relief from this fatalism? Well, yes it does. In one of Ron Rolheiser’s columns, he has an interesting take on the gospel story of the Prodigal Son (the story of the younger brother who goes off to a foreign land, loses all his money, and then is welcomed back by the father, which angers the older brother who never left home and never wasted money). Rolheiser suggests that instead of thinking of the two sons as separate individuals we think of them as two different phases of our own life:  “The prodigal son, illustrating the first half of life, is very caught up in the fiery energies of youth and is, metaphorically, struggling with the devil; the older brother, illustrating the second half of life, struggling instead with resentment, anger, and jealousy, is, metaphorically and in reality, wrestling with God.”

We all “leave home” in one sense or another, even if find ourselves still living at home because of economic necessity or to support aging parents. The younger son in the story rejects his family values, his religion, and his culture.  Most of us do that to one degree or the other.  The world is full of possibilities and we want to experience them all. We don’t go to church anymore, but we try out every new restaurant that opens and fly off to enticing destinations. We want to figure things out for ourselves and not just take what was handed to us. We are often ambitious and want to create our own moral boundaries. Life revolves around us.  Then somewhere along the line we realize that everything we dreamed of is not going to happen. People close to us grow sick and die, and we come face to face with our own limitations. We meet somebody; the me becomes a we; perhaps we start a family; but then what happens? Do we bury our plans for building a palace and build a woodshed instead? Do we dismiss our plans for starting our own business and settle for whatever provides a steady income?

This is the tragedy of the older brother. During the first part of life, we are tempted to center our life on pleasure and material things. In the second half of life, we are tempted to center our life on our work. We are tempted to become what we do—whether it be an accountant or a “stay at home mom” or “stay at home dad.” The success that we yearned for at 22 fails to satisfy us at 52.  We sense that there should be something more to life, and that gives rise to anger and resentment. The whole thing can become a grind. Didn’t I miss something along the way? Well, yes, most of us did.

Jesus reminds us in the parable, though, that the Father is always waiting for us to come home—whether it happens when we are younger, reach middle age, or when we retire. When we realize that pleasure or success or family or leisure is not everything we ever dreamed it could be and we hunger for something more, then we are ready to go deeper into the meaning and purpose of our lives. We’ll get a warm and loving welcome in the Father’s house. And in the Father’s house we have the freedom to refocus our lives on what may outlive us. We may never build our palace or bridge to the moon; but we do not have to settle for a woodshed; we can build the reign of God. We can become more comfortable with our limitations and realize that life is meant for more than what we experience here. We can enter more deeply into God’s plan for the world and God’s calling in life, and we can be grateful that in spite of the ways we may turn our backs on our Father, our Father never turns his back on us.

                                          Fr. Joe