Those of you who were part of our faith community prior to COVID will likely remember the Homecoming Picnic. One Sunday in August, around the Feast of the Assumption on August 15, we would obtain permission from the city to close our block of Illinois Street for a day, erect a giant tent, and spend the afternoon eating hot dogs, hamburgers, and sausages prepared and served by Gene and Georgetti’s, and serenaded by Jack Foy and his band. We had a good run for ten years. Some people came just for the music. It was a true homecoming, as we welcomed many former parishioners home, including alumni from our parish school which closed in 1945. But even before COVID put the clamps on almost everything in 2020, we had decided that we could not continue the picnic on Illinois Street any longer. The cost of renting the tent and other furniture kept rising and the process involved in obtaining the permit to close the street from all the levels of government that had to approve it had become too  costly, too complex, and too time-consuming. In 2019 we discovered we were spending $22.00 a person to feed each attendee, even though the food and drink were donated!

For the past few years, we have had a pizza party on a Saturday evening to commemorate our feast day and the anniversary of the dedication of our church building in 1886. This year we are trying something different. We are returning to a Sunday afternoon event, a modified picnic for which no permissions are needed. We will celebrate in the Parish Hall and in the Garden. There will be some outdoor lawn games; and pictures from Assumption’s past will be on display, in the Hall. The centerpiece of our celebration this year will be something that is quintessentially Chicago—the Chicago style hot dog. According to the internet (and, remember, if it is on the internet it has to be true or they couldn’t put it up there), a Chicago-style hot dog is garnished with yellow mustard, chopped onions, sweet pickle relish, tomato slices, sport peppers, a dill pickle spear, and a dash of celery salt. The one condiment no ever mentions is ketchup. To true Chicagoans, the prohibition against ketchup on the hot dog is absolutely foundational.

In Bruce Kraig’s groundbreaking work, Man Bites Dog and Hot Dog: A Global History, Kraig writes, “If you consider what’s on a Chicago hot dog: it is hot, sour, salty, sweet—all together with crunchy vegetables—set in a soft bun, it’s a symphony of textures and flavors unmatched anywhere. If you put ketchup on it, it will kill everything.” The late, great Chicago columnist Mike Royko was once asked about people who put ketchup on their hot dogs. He said, “It is their right to do so. It is also their right to put mayo or chocolate syrup or toenail clippings or cat hair on a hot dog. Sure, it would be disgusting and perverted and they would be shaming themselves and their loved ones. But under our system of government, it is their right to be barbarians.” Others have noted that ketchup is a condiment favored by children because it is sweet; but mustard is the popper condiment for adults.

In an effort to be completely transparent, I will admit to having put ketchup on a hot dog in the past—but never while living in Chicago. I can even recall one specific instance of doing so at Busch Stadium in St. Louis while attending a Cardinals game. But, in my defense, putting ketchup on hot dogs was perfectly legal in the state of Missouri. Besides, stadium hot dogs are not properly dressed Chicago-style, and therefore open themselves up to being topped with ketchup and mustard together. And while Cub fans may not have any place in their heart for the Cardinals, we have to cut St. Louis some slack. It was at the St. Louis World’s Fair of 1904 that the hot dog as we know it was popularized. In his café on the Fair Grounds, Anton Feuchtwanger provided patrons with a white glove to held their dachshund sausage topped with hot mustard. He lost so many white gloves that way that he begged a relative to prepare some narrow buns to hold the sausage. And the rest is history.

So, please come and enjoy our $2 Chicago style hot dogs, that comes with chips and a cookie. The celebration will take place following the 12:15 Mass on Sunday August 18. Paying in cash will be much appreciated. Just to warn you, we will have a squeeze bottle of ketchup available on the condiments table for those who have not yet been culturally assimilated. Assumption Parish is made up of people of many nationalities, from many parts of our country and many parts of the world. It would not do our reputation as a welcoming parish any good if we were accused of cultural imperialism over such a fundamental matter as the hot dog.

                    Fr. Joe